Express Yourself!

I’m standing in the parking lot of a car dealership, clutching onto the keys to my ’99 Honda Accord. It’s beaten up, dented, and it’s years are beginning to show. The salesman drives up my brand new Toyota Corolla, my first official purchase as a certified adult. Suddenly, a lump starts to work its way up in my throat. I start thinking of all the memories I’ve formed in this car, how long it’s been a presence in my life. Tears spring to my eyes at the thought of goodbye.

I am 21 years old, surrounded by family, when I start to cry. I’ve always been that way—sensitive, emotional, nostalgic. I’m the girl who tears up at corny commercials and sobs a storm when a favorite character dies. My ability to feel things deeply isn’t a minus—in fact it’s a quality that helps me in everyday life.

For a long time I was taught (by others and by society) that expressing my emotions is a weakness. Growing up in a culture that didn’t necessarily encourage me to express my emotions only heightened my sensitivity. I can’t tell you how many times some well-meaning adult has told me to “just let it go.” The fact of the matter is however—feelings aren’t that simple. The more important thing? Emotions don’t equal weakness.

I’ve been mocked (both good-naturedly and not) for expressing myself freely. I’ve been told that I should act my age, even when I seek privacy before dealing with my emotions. I’ve been made to feel lesser, weaker, for simply pointing out whatever is bothering me. Age has afforded me the wisdom to realize that this is far preferred to the alternative of holding things in and letting them fester.

It’s not just a South Indian thing. We are taught in America from a very young age that “big girls don’t cry” and that “boys should be tough.” Who says? I think it’s significantly healthier to express your emotions as you feel them. Think of your emotions as a pressure cooker—letting the steam out little by little saves you from an explosion later on. 

Being sensitive allows me to empathize with others more, which leads to greater patience. I believe it gives me some maturity to see what the important things are and prioritize them over trivialities. 

It helps me in my chosen career as a storyteller as I am able to tap into worlds and emotional depths that would be closed off to someone more guarded. I understand people better, and this in turn makes my relationships stronger.

You should never me afraid to express yourself in an appropriate manner. It might be tough at first, but over time being open will lead to more happiness and better mental health.

Nivi Elango